Somebody show Pat Robertson a picture of himself with his eyes closed.  While he’s praying on television, closing his eyes makes his forehead look twice as big as it already is.

As you might have guessed, out of boredom this morning, I sat through the 700 Club.  Pat Robertson closed his eyes and bared his forhead for the world to see, but more importantly, the girl (can’t remember her name, and can’t be bothered to spend the thirty seconds looking it up) interviewed the author (can’t remember blah, blah, can’t be bothered blah, blah) of a book called “Techinical Virginity” it had a subtitle too (you get the drill by now) but the gist of it is that with the rash of misguided (my description) parents forcing their teen, and even pre-teen children to sign virginity pledges, the number of “technical virgins” (girls who will do pretty much anything but “go all the way” (as the author put it)) has grown alarmingly (her word) high.  Children are learning from these virginity pledges that sex before marriage is not okay, but nobody is teaching them what exactly qualifies as sex.

Here is where her opinions (stated alarmingly as hard facts) and mine diverge.  She starts talking about how sexual options today are far more numerous than in the past.  Oral sex, she claims, was first introduced to most Americans with the Monica Lewinsky scandal just a decade ago.  Now I haven’t really been around too long in the grand scheme of things, but if I were forced to guess, I would say that Monica Lewinsky didn’t introduce the blow job to America.  And not only that, but she says that girls aren’t any more “to blame” for increased sexual activity among teenagers than the boys, but that they play complimentary roles.  The girls, she says, get the boys thinking by dressing provocatively.  When a boy sees a girl’s cleavage or belly, since boys (i.e. not girls) are “sexually minded creatures”, he thinks about sex.  And now that the girl has gotten the boy’s mind rolling, he turns into the (one-eyed) serpent, tempting the poor innocent (my injected sarcasm) little teenage girl to put the apple in her mouth (so to speak).

Let me lay this out really simple.  Girl arouses boy, boy gets aroused, boy convinces girl, girl pleases boy.  She says nothing, except that it doesn’t exist, of the girl’s pleasure.  She said, outright, that if the girls were to look at what they were getting out of the situation, they would stop having sex until they were married and ready to have children.  These sound like the words of a woman who has never had an orgasm.  She’s trying to teach girls that if they are not married and getting pregnant that sex is just something that boys will convince a girl to do for their own enjoyment without any payoff for her.  Now, as far as I can tell, women enjoy sex just as much as men do; or at least not any less than we do, as a general rule (with exceptions obviously).

And I’m not really going to get into this one, but faced with the problem of not wanting to demonize sex to a point where kids grow up and get married, but still can’t have sex because they’ve been raised to think it’s a dirty horrible thing, she said that it’s important not to do that because, “sex is a beautiful thing created for marriage”. Now, I inserted the emphasis myself, but, if I heard her right, she seems to think that marriage came before sex?  Isn’t that taking the chicken v. egg controversy and ruling in favor of the omelette?

But enough teeing off on the 700 Club, I want to talk about adventuring.  I’ve verbicised that wonderfully fun noun and turned it into a sport.  Not an extreme sport you might find in the X Games next year, or a sport requiring any skill which will eventually turn into a multi-billion dollar a year industry, but more of the weekend warrior type sport.  The type of sport that you can be doing no matter what you’re doing.

Sorry, I’m being cryptic.  Basically, I’ve discovered that anything is more fun if you put the word adventure in front of it.  Hence, the recent proliferation of “Adventure Spas”.  Basically, my sport of adventuring consists of calling whatever you’re doing an adventure.  When I go for a walk with the dog, we’re not on a walk, we’re on an adventure walk.  When I run to the store to buy milk, I’m adventure shopping.  When I pass out on the couch watching TV, I’m adventure napping.  It gives a kind of Zen-like feeling of accomplishment to whatever you do.  Adventure Blogging; the new official sport of the internet.

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